Relocating with Kids in Tow
When moving with kids, it’s important to remember that what’s important to you, isn’t always important to them. For example, you may be concerned about logistics of the move, finalizing your home selection, purging and packing everything you own. Usually, kids are more concerned about leaving friends, school and personal space behind, so it’s important to help make them feel comfortable with the changes ahead. Here are a few tips to make the process less stressful for everyone.
- If possible, let each child pick his or her own bedroom, even if from a floor plan.
- Share pictures of the new house, and discuss how they might decorate it.
- Get books and movies to learn about their new location, city, state or country.
- Develop a plan to help them stay in touch with friends.
- Let each child pack one box of things he or she values most (and not breakable), making sure those boxes are loaded onto the truck last for ready-access. Even better, transport these yourself if possible.
- On the day of the move, arrange for kids (especially young ones) to stay with a friend or family member. The chaos of movers, packing, and a house being “ripped apart” can be unsettling for children. They may feel like their whole world has turned upside down, so having them offsite minimizes the turmoil.
- Another option on moving day is to arrange an outing for your children in their new location. Whether this involves both parents, one parent, a friend or family member, it lets kids experience a new place from a positive experience, rather than focus on what they’ve lost.
- If driving to your new home, a well-placed McDonalds or Chick-fil-A can be an amazing thing. It enables kids to arrive at their new location without being hungry, and they can burn off excess energy for an hour in the play area. (Not to mention it gives you a moment of sanity, too.)
- Should you have a long drive to your new location, stop by a local dollar store ahead of time for a pencil box filled with crayons, color pencils, washable markers and paper so they have something to keep young children occupied. Mad Libs works great for older kids, as well as hand-held electronic games or a good-old fashioned game of I Spy or counting cows. And, don’t forget to pack some snacks, paper towels and plastic storage bags to contain any mess.
- If possible, have the house unpacked when kids arrive at the new home (with the exception of the boxes they packed themselves). This way, they see a fairly orderly home upon arrival. Then, let them unpack their box in their new space.
- Consider having a gift waiting for the kids. We always considered this “a gift from the house” to welcome them. This could be a video console they’ve wanted, a game they enjoy, a book collection, or just a personal note—something that makes them feel special. Keep the gift simple and ideally, something they can share so everyone can interact rather than isolating themselves in their rooms.
- To help mitigate kids’ fears and aid the transition, let them visit their school in advance. Perhaps they’d like to meet their new teacher or the principal, check out the play areas, locate their classroom, or talk to other kids at the school? This makes the introductory school day feel less overwhelming.
- Learn about your new place together by “getting lost.” We would get in the car with the kids and just drive, not worrying about where we were going. We discovered all kinds of interesting things while getting to know the area, as well.
- If your child doesn’t have a new neighborhood friend at his or her school, find out if the school provides buddies for new students or is open to connecting new families with current school families. That way your child knows at least one person at the new school.
- If you have older children and multiple school options available, tour each available school together and allow your child to participate in the final decision.
Remember that children have a lot to deal with during a move, from finding new friends to transitioning to a new school setting. Be patient if they don’t acclimate to their new home immediately, and focus on positive aspects of moving to a new place and highlight things they could not do in their old location. Moving can be scary for children, but it can also open up a world of new adventures and opportunities!
A global relocation resource, Hali Jaffe loves helping people and provides experienced advice to ease the burdens of a personal or corporate move. You can contact her at hali@REALocationwithHali.com.